look no pants
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
