i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
