What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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