I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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