I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
