At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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