It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
