I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
