I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
