if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
