I wanna passion pit in your ass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize