I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
