I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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