i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
