mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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