You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
