That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
