Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
