when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize