You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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