Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
