idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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