Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
