It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
