i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
