i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
