it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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