No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
