also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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