I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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