So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
