After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
