So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
