So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
there is glitter all over my balls
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize