She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize