just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
