he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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