3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
