the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
