Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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