dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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