she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize