Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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