i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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