The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
