Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
