I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
