i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
