The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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