I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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