Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
