After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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