Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im holly from the hills drunk
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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