I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize