You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
