There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
