im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I will pee on everything he values.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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