i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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