Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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